Why
couldn’t
Ellen
Degeneres
and
Portia
diRossi
have
kept
their
wedding
reception
as
fabulous
as
they
looked
last
weekend?
Their
tiny
19-guest
wedding
ceremony
featured
only
vegan
food.
What
was
Dish
supposed
to
put
in
our
purses
for
later?
Where
are
the
crab
cakes?
This
week,
Dish
is
undercover
trying
to
get
the
details
on
the
ladies’
honeymoon.
“She’s
officially
off
the
market.
No
one
else
gets
her.
And
now
she’ll
cook
and
clean
for
me,”
Ellen
told
People
magazine.
Dish
thinks
the
new
Mrs.
DeGeneres
is
a
little
too
classy
for
a
maid’s
outfit
—
or
is
she?
Congratulations
to
the
happy
couple,
who
both
looked
lovely
walking
down
the
aisle
outfitted
in
Zac
Posen.
Gaiken
can’t
even
‘do
the
deed’
with
baby
mama
Dish
doesn’t
like
to
judge
when
it
comes
to
who’s
making
babies
with
whom
and
where
the
egg
and
sperm
happen
to
meet.
But
Clay
Aiken,
honey,
you
couldn’t
even
artificially
inseminate
a
woman
with
a
woman’s
name!
If
that
boy
tries
to
deny
his
man-loving
ways
for
one
more
second,
Dish
is
going
to
confiscate
his
turkey
baster
before
he
uses
it
on
another
unsuspecting
woman
twice
his
age.
Our
favorite
“American
Idol”
reject
is
now
a
proud
papa.
The
29-year-old
singer’s
going
to
raise
a
family
with
his
producer,
50-year-old
Jaymes
Foster.
Parker
Foster
Aiken
was
born
on
Aug.
8
in
North
Carolina.
We
can’t
wait
to
see
how
little
Parker
learns
about
the
birds
and
the
bees
in
a
sexless
household.
Head
over
heels
for
Doogie
Everyone
and
their
“Ugly”
co-star
made
it
to
a
’60s-themed
evening
of
song
benefiting
the
AIDS
Healthcare
Foundation.
The
“Ugly
Betty”
trio
began
the
evening,
and
America
Ferrera,
who
hosted
the
event,
sang
“Diamonds
Are
Forever.”
She’s
no
Shirley
Bassey,
but
the
gays
love
her
anyway.
When
the
now-out
Neil
Patrick
Harris
was
playing
Doogie
Howser,
we
had
no
desire
for
him
to
examine
us.
Ever
since
it
was
confirmed
he
wasn’t
after
a
career
in
gynecology,
though,
he
sets
our
loins
on
fire!
In
an
effort
to
torture
us
just
a
little
more,
Harris
gave
the
crowd
his
rendition
of
“Puff
the
Magic
Dragon,”
while
transgender
actress
Candis
Cayne
of
“Dirty
Sexy
Money”
sang
“Thirteen
Men.”
“American
Pie”
actor
Jason
Biggs
performed
in
drag,
an
interesting
alternative
to
successful
movie
roles,
in
our
opinion.
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