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Officer Darlene Harris, the Atlanta Police Department’s LGBT liaison, says speaking out about being intersex is part of her mission to educate and inform. (Photo by Bo Shell)
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HOME > NEWS > LOCAL
By: DYANA BAGBY
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Growing up in Spanish Harlem in an abusive household, shuffled between foster homes and nearly killed when shot in the face a decade ago, Atlanta Police Officer Darlene Harris faced considerable struggles growing up.
Harris’ mother, who suffered from lupus and numerous other medical issues, spent much of her time in the hospital. She died at the age of 40 when Harris was 17, forcing Harris and her older sister to raise their younger siblings.
“We were literally dirt poor. I remember eating oatmeal cookies for dinner,” Harris said.
Harris, now 35, over came all of these hardships and built a successful career with the Atlanta Police Department, where she currently serves as the department’s full-time liaison to lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgenders.
But Harris still faced an internal struggle nobody knew about — one she never understood until just this year. During puberty, she began growing facial and chest hair. She never had a regular menstrual cycle. Emotionally, she said, she had a rage that couldn’t be controlled.
Now she knows why her experiences were more different than others. She was “uniquely different” because she is intersex.
Numerous medical tests earlier this year revealed Harris’ testosterone levels were much higher than the range for even the average male. At first, the doctor worried Harris may have brain tumors because her testosterone levels were so high. Harris then began months of medical testing with an endocrinologist that eventually concluded with a chromosome test that revealed Harris had the XY chromosome — the male chromosome. But she also had female reproductive anatomy.
For Harris, who has identified as female her entire life, finding out she is a male genetically felt like a heavy burden being lifted from her shoulders. Finally, she had an explanation for why she felt so different from everyone else, even sometimes within the queer community.
“When I came out as a lesbian, the women I dated would say something’s not right. I’d say I’m fine, you’re just small,” Harris said, referring to her anatomy. “Of course, I said that to feel comfortable with myself.”
After being diagnosed as intersex, “I cried and cried,” Harris recalled. “But now I knew what it was.”
Her journey to peace within was starting.
At first reluctant to go public, Harris said prayer and faith helped her realize that because she is unique, her life journey is an important one to share. She wants to make sure other intersex people know they are not alone.
“I didn’t choose to be who I am, I am who I am,” she said. “My creator has a funny sense of humor. We’re all so uniquely different and the core of me comes from my beliefs.”
Harris said right now she is not concerned with what pronouns people use to identify her — “he” or “she” is fine. While she has the option to legally change her birth certificate to male, Harris said she is not going to take that route because she has lived her life so long legally and socially as female. She is, however, considering changing her name to a more gender neutral one.
“I decided not to ‘change over.’ I’m going to be who I am,” Harris said. “I have prayed and I need to be comfortable in my skin. Some may think it’s better to change over. At this point, after two kids, I don’t want to go through the situation explaining. I choose to stay this way.”
Being intersex, Harris explained during a pre-Pride event held July 3 by Atlanta City Councilmember Lamar Willis, is when “your body is in direct contradiction to what your insides say. You may have a female body, but inside you are male, or you may have a male body, but inside you are female.”
Approximately 20 people attended the intersex workshop held by Harris, the first time she shared her story in a public forum.
“I think it's great that an event was sponsored to bring attention to this [Officer Harris's coming out] and intersex as a whole,” said Dionne Bates, a psychotherapist who attended the July 3 workshop. “Officer Harris provides a great role model for the intersex community. A real positive influence for those who are unseen.”
And because Harris is black, there is an added dimension to her being public about such a private ...
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