Josh Williams (above) and Joseph Myska were remembered during a recent forum on crystal meth at Outwrite Bookstore. Both Atlanta area men were crystal meth users and both died in recent months.
Crystal meth part of larger crisis among gay men? Forum focuses on turmoil that drives some to drug use
Crystal methamphetamine continues to cast an ominous shadow over parts of Atlanta’s gay social scene and the lives of many gay men across the country. More than 80 people packed Outwrite Bookstore & Coffeehouse on Feb. 15 to hear tales about the damage crystal meth — or “Tina” — can wreak on young lives, and to brainstorm strategies to combat the popular club drug.
But any efforts to address crystal meth use among gay men will be frustrated and off-target if they don’t look beyond the latest drug du jour and address the pervasive personal struggles that spur some gay men to cope via different forms of instant gratification, according to some who attended the forum.
“That was my issue,” said Jared Brown, a gay Atlanta resident and former meth user.
Brown was also a friend of Josh Williams, who hanged himself on Jan. 2. Williams’ family members cite crystal meth as the “proximate cause” of Josh’s death, although there is no mention of the drug in the police report detailing his suicide.
“If we continue to just combat the chemical, but we don’t combat some of the underlying causes — I knew Josh, and loved him dearly, and he was in such pain, and that was the issue,” Brown said. “He was trying to stop the pain.
“I think we need to continue to come together and figure out how do we heal our community so that they don’t feel like this is their only recourse,” Brown added.
The Atlanta Meth Task Force convened the forum at Outwrite after several recent deaths of local crystal meth users, including Williams. The emotional forum included testimony from Williams’ brother and friends, as well as from Tommy Varnador, who wept as he talked about the November overdose death of his partner, Joseph Myska.
“This drug fills a void in people — a sense of guilt, a sense of shame,” said Brian Dew, a professor at Georgia State University who leads the Atlanta Meth Task Force. “It’s seen as a perfect short-term solution to the feelings that are there.”
Drawing attention to the harmful effects of meth is particularly challenging among gay men, Dew said.
“I think that the gay community has been reluctant to address our own pitfalls, and I think we’re seeing it with drug use,” Dew said. “But we can no longer sit back because of what it’s doing and the impact that it’s having.”
Russell Beasley talked about how he and Josh Williams had a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” attitude in many parts of their friendship, including drug use. But instead of being inspired by a desire not to appear judgmental, the informal policy was a manifestation of both men’s fears that if his friend knew the truth about him, he would no longer love him and would leave. Gay men can no longer afford to mask their insecurities through drugs or indifference, Beasley said.
“In the old days, when we were fighting HIV, we were going out and we were doing AIDS education and we were fighting to save lives — it’s kind of the same thing,” Beasley. “We all need to go out, spread the word, let everybody know that meth equals death, and that there is healing that can be achieved from everything.”
Also participating in the Outwrite forum was Mark White, who talked about how he had a staunchly conservative disdain for drug use most of his life before going through a difficult break-up.
Crystal meth use, however, led to White landing in jail on Thanksgiving Day as well as Tina-fueled sex romps that led him to becoming HIV positive.
“I became very lonely, I began to shy away from some of the things that I never really dealt with — for example, being comfortable being gay,” White said. “I’m a shy person by nature, but on crystal I became very sociable, I felt very powerful, very confident and very sexual.”
Ryan Lee can be reached at rlee@sovo.com.
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