As millions of U.S. schoolchildren head back to school, gay rights groups are launching new programs to help the growing number of gay parents deal with the unique challenges they face.
To aid gay and lesbian parents — as well as school administrators and staff — Family Pride released a new back-to-school pamphlet, titled “Building Family Equality in Every Classroom.”
Another new resource being offered to gay and lesbian families can be found on the Human Rights Campaign’s website. It is part of a new initiative with the working title, “Everyone Belongs,” a web-based resource to help gay and lesbian parents and their children ease into the new school year.
“Like all parents, the reality is that LGBT parents have to raise the needs of our kids and help educators do their jobs better with positive solutions and innovative ideas,” said Jennifer Chrisler, executive director of Family Pride, a nonprofit organization that works on behalf of gay parents and families. “Children are facing anti-LGBT hostility, and we need to stand up.”
“Building Family Equality In Every Classroom” includes strategies for talking to school administrators and faculty, formulating questions about inclusion and language and working with others to enact positive change.
Chrisler, who is a parent of twin boys with her partner, former HRC executive director Cheryl Jacques, said gay parents need to speak up to educators to build more inclusive learning environments. Parents should also make sure they know the school’s anti-bullying and anti-harassment policies, because children of gay and lesbian parents can also be targets of intimidation by their peers.
Chrisler said Family Pride recommends that gay parents talk to principals and teachers about their family, including an explanation of which parent is “Mom” and which one is “Mama.” Family Pride also recommends checking with teachers to ensure the planned curricula is inclusive and appropriate and planning for potentially awkward situations, like Mother’s or Father’s Day.
Gay and lesbian couples are encouraged to meet with teachers and principals together. They are also advised to attend the first PTA meeting of the year together and to introduce themselves as a couple to the school community. She said that if a couple receives a frosty reception from other parents, it is better to know about intolerant attitudes upfront.
“It’s not the easiest thing to do, but it is the necessary thing to do,” Chrisler said of coming out as gay parents. “It’s much harder for a child to have a parent who is closeted, conflicted and struggling.”
Visibility is key
“Everyone Belongs” is a resource that is still in the early planning stages, but parents and school personnel can still log onto HRC’s website to find educational materials geared toward inclusion of kids in kindergarten through fifth grade. HRC Family Project director Ellen Kahn said her organization met with other national groups, including the National Education Association, GLSEN, PFLAG, Respect for All, the Anti-Defamation League and anti-bias experts to put together a plan that will make schools more welcoming to children of gay parents.
“We are looking at what is out there already so teachers, parents and administrators can bring together the best resources,” Kahn said. “There are concrete tips we can direct parents to, ideas for making schools safe, volunteering and becoming more visible to other parents.”
