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More than 50 people braved chilly temperatures Nov. 4 to protest Focus on the Family’s ‘Love Won Out’ ex-gay conference held at the First Baptist Church in Woodstock. (Photo by Bo Shell)
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Love Won Out speaker Mike Haley, a self-described ex-gay man, said as a boy his father would often call him “Michelle” and his “third daughter” because he did not excel at sports, which caused him to become a “mommy’s boy” and contributed to him becoming gay for 12 years.
Haley, now director of gender issues for Focus on the Family’s Public Policy division, said he was also sexually abused from the ages of 11 to 18 by an older man and that sexual abuse is common among people who are gay.
Former lesbian Melissa Fryrear, now the gender issue analyst for Focus on the Family, told her story of becoming an “ex-gay” through tears and jokes.
She apologized for spitting on anyone because she recently got braces.
“I told my dentist I wanted a smile that genuinely reflects my personality — straight,” she said with a chuckle.
But Fryrear also tearfully told how she was sexually abused and said common roots contribute to lesbianism, including the fact that women are “complex” and women’s sexuality is fluid.
“There is the yearning in the heart to find a sense of wholeness, love, nurturing, acceptance. It’s not about sex but connecting emotionally,” she said. But then “homoemotionality” then becomes homosexuality, she added.
Alan Chambers, president of Exodus International, the world’s largest ex-gay organization, said he made a choice to leave homosexuality in 1991.
“I haven’t gotten to the place where I have no temptation … but I deny what comes naturally to me,” added Chambers, who is married and has two adopted children.
The opposite of homosexuality is holiness, not heterosexuality.” |
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HOME > NEWS > LOCAL
By: Dyana Bagby
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More than 1,000 people from 22 states flocked to Woodstock, Ga., Nov. 4 to participate in Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out conference, an all-day event that proclaims gay men and lesbians can deny their same-sex attractions and choose a heterosexual lifestyle by embracing Jesus.
They were met by approximately 50 protesters who lined the street to counter the conference with messages that gay people do not choose their sexual orientation and should be able to live openly, free from discrimination.
From testimonials by “ex-gays” who say they have turned away from the “lifestyle,” to break-out sessions varying from “Straight Thinking on Gay Marriage” to “Teaching Captivity? Addressing the Pro-Gay Agenda in Your School,” Love Won Out organizers combined the emotional with the political to rally their base against homosexuality and policies that provide equal treatment for gays.
Before the conference began, state Sen. Chip Rogers (R-Woodstock), who attends First Baptist Church of Woodstock, presented Focus on the Family with a legislative resolution honoring its “humanitarian efforts to provide support to the many individuals who are facing difficult decisions, consequences and ramifications of issues surrounding sexual identity.”
Conference speakers said compassion is necessary for those who “struggle with same-sex attraction.” But the underlying message was made clear by the first speaker, Joseph Nicolosi, president of the National Association of Research & Therapy of Homosexuality: There is no such thing as a homosexual because homosexuality is actually a gender-identity disorder.
“Homosexuality is not about sex. It is about one’s sense of self, his self-image and personal shame that is always prompted by a sense of loneliness,” Nicolosi said during his talk on “The Condition of Male Homosexuality.”
“The difference between gay and homosexual is gay activists would have us believe all homosexuals are gay. But gay is a social identity and homosexuality is a psychological preference,” he added.
Poor father-son relationships can lead to the “sissy-boy syndrome,” which then leads an adolescent boy to become interested in theater and acting, where he lives in a world of “pretend and fantasy,” according to Nicolosi. He added that “same-sex behavior” is an attempt to repair childhood hurts.
“We tell fathers that if you don’t hug your son, some other man will,” he said.
Nicolosi and NARTH, who have come under consistent attacks by gay rights activists for their beliefs that homosexuality can be “cured” through therapy, were challenged again recently when a NARTH board member posted on the group’s website that it was OK to bully “boys and girls who don’t conform” to stereotypical gender roles.
Another board member wrote that African slaves were better off in chains in America than in “savage” Africa. While the statements were removed from the group’s website, Nicolosi said he plans to keep the board members a part of NARTH.
The recent gay sex scandals involving former New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey, former U.S. Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) and, just last week, evangelist Ted Haggard, created a “silent, dark cloud” over the ex-gay conference, said Wayne Besen, executive director of Truth Wins Out, a nonprofit group that tracks the ex-gay movement.
“We are here with messages of hope, love and acceptance and to tell gay people who you are is OK,” said Besen, who helped organize the protests and a related press conference. “This (Love Won Out) does not work. These scandals represent the 3,000-pound pink elephant in the middle of the room. [The ex-gay movement] destroys lives.”
Throughout the conference, speakers drilled the message that gay people don’t choose their feelings, but rather choose their actions. With therapy and a close relationship to God, gays can resist their same-sex attractions, according to Love Won Out organizers.
But all major medical organizations, including the American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association and the U.S. Surgeon General, say such messages are unscientific and even harmful to individuals.
The estimated 1,000 Love Won Out participants paid $50-$60 each to attend the Love Won Out Conference. Asked how much it cost to put on the event and how much money it made, Focus on the Family spokesperson Nima Reza said the organization does not disclose that information.
“We will tell you that we typically lose $15,000, $20,000 and even $25,000 at each conference,” he said. “This is not a money-making venture.”
Focus on the Family, with some 1,300 employees and an estimated annual budget of $130 million, is based in Colorado and is large enough to have its own zip code.
While much of the conference focused on how to deal with a loved one who is gay ...
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