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Femme Mafia founder Rachael Smith (right) parties at a recent event with Treah Caldwell, who says ‘femme’ is a state of mind, not of biology. (Photo by Sher Pruitt)
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HOME > SOVO SCENE > ON THE TOWN
By: DYANA BAGBY
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IT’S A RECENT HOT, muggy night but things are totally cool at a downtown Decatur spot where nearly a dozen women are gathered around a table, drinking cosmopolitans and noshing on pasta and fried calamari.
It’s the monthly meeting of the Femme Mafia, a social and political group dedicated to honoring “queer feminine identity.” Between bites, they discuss their favorite topic — being a femme.
“A femme is someone who explores the performance of the femme experience that is integral to her personality,” Rachael Smith, 25, founder of the Femme Mafia, says before pointing out the cute pink bows on her new high heels to fellow Mafiosas.
The notion that femme is dead is a complete falsehood, Mafia members say. Many of today’s young femmes don’t like to squeeze into the traditional gender labels used by old-school lesbians who still classify gay women as butch or femme, according to the Femme Mafia philosophy.
“The vast majority of us don’t even use the word lesbian [to describe ourselves],” Smith says. “‘Queer is a more umbrella term for who we are. Femmes don’t need butches to be femme. It’s an independent spirit.”
“You don’t have to biologically female to be a femme,” adds Treah Caldwell, 27, a dancer in the burlesque group Dixie Pistols. “And if I don’t have to do manual labor, I won’t. Yeah, I can change a tire. But I want to be girly.”
THE TRADITIONAL TRAPPINGS of femininity, including makeup, frilly dresses, high-heeled shoes and even pantyhose, can be oppressive if a woman feels forced to abide by the so-called rules of a male-dominated society, Caldwell says.
“But when someone chooses these things, it’s about reclaiming an identity,” she asserts.
Vanessa Faraj, 21, a queer Arab femme who loves to wear glitter, does not take her identity as a femme lightly.
“It’s a consciousness of the pervasive alienating power of invisibility,” Faraj says. “Not only is femme about the fabulous trappings that are seemingly ‘hetero-normative,’ it’s about queering — fucking with the gender norms of femininity.”
SMITH, WHO MOVED TO Atlanta three years ago, founded the Femme Mafia in January. Five proud femmes attended the first meeting.
Since then, membership, which is by invitation only through the group’s Web site, has expanded to about 100 members.
But what exactly is the Femme Mafia?
It’s a progressive, edgy organization of self-identified femmes open to all genders and sexual orientations that seeks to foster connections between femmes, reinforce femme identity and provide members with the “occasion to bask in their own fierce fabulousness and the fabulousness of others,” Smith exclaims.
The word “mafia” was selected intentionally to signify an unapologetic, fierce and organized group, she adds.
Femme Mafia members are “rock stars,” Caldwell says.
THE FEMME MAFIA meets once a month for dinner, drinks and socializing for femme-identifying women only. For non-femmes who want to be part of the group, there’s a “Boys Night Out” with an after-party event that follows every meeting of the Femme Mafia. Bois, partners, girlfriends and allies can gather for dancing and more socializing.
Tentative plans include sponsoring a conference on the meaning of femme as well as group members making their presence known at large-scale events like Atlanta Pride and the March for Women’s Lives.
Dishing gossip, lusting over the newest line of MAC cosmetics or gushing over an outfit from Aphrodite’s Toy Box are important parts of being in the Femme Mafia. But members are quick to point out that by being together and being seen together, they are in fact making a political statement, according to Faraj.
“We are mutually recognizing our shared struggle and consciously working to erase the alienation we have all endured in various queer circles,” she says.
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